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4:06 PM
It's quarrel again.. why i say again was because two days ago we just quarrelled.. His cousin came from Medan to Sin bascially is to visit his mum and to grab stuffs from SIN.. We have been accompanying him after dear's work.. ok.. so why did we quarrel Thursday.. things goes on like this.. when i woke up, mum ask me to go Sieng Song with her as sean is around, she needs someone to help to take care of her.. who know's that mum's drag the time we left the house and then she say she's hungry and asked me to eat with her.. i say no as i will be meeting him at 245.. by the time we reached Sieng Song, it's already 215.. i got mum to rush and buy all the stuffs.. we are ready by 245 when we wanted to leave but mum say she needs to go to the ladies.. hence, i carried all the things to the car plus SEAN!.. while waiting for mum to come back, he called me and say he will pack back.. i din't heard he will be eating first with his mum and cousin.. in the end, i rush my mum all the way there just to eat alone.. i mean.. hw will you feel if it's you? won't you be thinking wth am i doing here just for a packed lunch.. i was feeling so stupid and silly.. if i ever wanted to eat alone, might as well i ate it with my mum instead.. well then, he din called me the whole night neither did he msg me and tell me that he reached work safely until i msg him whether has he reached..
After this episode, it's yesterday.. we and his cousin went to SIM LIM.. we bought a lot of things.. i bought a printer as my house don't really have one.. he say he will acc me home since it's a friday.. i'm so happy.. that's it been weeks he has sent me home.. and also we can finally spent some time alone together.. thou the time might be short, at least we did.. and i was feeling so particularly of wanting him to pamper and dote on me so much.. who's know.. normally when he send me out of his house, he won't bring his wallet along.. but he did.. thou he say he was only sending me out i assume he will send me home.. so i was happily waiting for cab.. he was still telling me that he won't be sending me back.. but i assume he was just pulling my legs.. ended up, when the cab came, i went in and was told to move in by him, i thought he will board the cab with me.. instead, he just place the printer by my side and that's it.. hw terrible must i feel..
today, they went to the wholeseller for fish in the morning, i din't want to go coz i very scared of the smell.. but i still make the effort to wake up early to wait for them to go home.. then he told me they are picking joleen up.. thereafer they be going to tampines ikea and giants.. with 6 ppl already in the car, i do not feel like going as it will be so cramp.. i tried to explain to him thru msg all he reply is up to you.. after considering the facts and i really miss him, wanting to be pamper by him, i decided to go over.. so i went to bath and roughly gauge that they should reached home soon.. went down to the bus stop and saw missed calls.. called him back then realise they going over to newton for lunch.. so.. wad am i suppose to do? i went back home feeling lousy.. i know it's nt your fault.. but i just wanting some comfort.. when i call to ask mum to pack food for mi, i was being question why they having lunch w/o you.. what can i say.. i'm a nobody.. how cani expect everyone to wait for me alone to have lunch.. then i send him another msg tell him i'm not going with them to tampines.. i'm still waiting for the sms.. but no.. there's nothing, nothing fr him.. out of anger, i switch off my phone.. after hours, when i switch on my phone, what i receive was this: "Apprently every time i try to have lunch with you i screw it up. and you make it sound as though as i do it on urpose. i don't have control of everything ok.i try, no one is perfect. you blame me for not thinking about you, not wanting to have lunch with you and stuff, but you must understand that i just cannot leave my cousin alone. you want to be upset because i make you go out and go back i have nothing to say. i tried to tell you. the intial plan was to go home first, but mummy suddenly want to eat, what you expect me to do? you say you miss me want to sayang, then you dowan to come down i already never say anything. i want to go over but you know i can't also.. i'm sorry if you think i don't care about you. but you know i do and you still want to throw temper" nw, since everything is my fault, i have nothing to say to you too.. since you think i always ask for too much den fine, i won't ask for any in future.. do i have the rights? NO! you feel hurt for me to say i have no rights? but it's you make me feel it that way.. or rather it myself who bought it upon.. don't bother to come find me.. go accompany your cousin, your mum and everyone else.. i don't need it.. i dun wan to be blame as thou i been wanting you to come and find me.. or throwing temper at you coz i wan you to leave your cousin.. Secondly, i feel so out of place when we go out for dinner with your cousin.. i been trying to make a fool out of myself the whole of yesterday.. i really do not want to see you now or even talk to you.. you will just make me feel worst!
Always by your side SnOwY
When your are down please remember i m always there for you*
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