|
4:16 AM
din do much today.. when to see my nephew in the afternoon.. He's so cute!! Hee.. Anyway, helping my mum to prepare for his full month celebration.. went to buy clothes and invitation cards.. Was kindda moody.. Guess i woke up at the wrong side of the bed.. Haa.. Went out with Shan and Kit.. at first was to meet in town but later decided to meet at somewhere near mine n Shan place coz Shan was too tired and we din wan him to drive.. so we chit chat abit here and there.. din see Kit for quite sometime and he's goin back to hong kong nx yr march or april.. another one of my frenz leaving mi.. Sob Sob..
Anyway, when i got back home, Yi Jia msn me.. Haiz.. two days ago, he told mi his gf say wan to break up with him coz she find the characters uncompatible.. smth like dat.. nx day told him tat she dun wan break le.. today told him she wanna break up coz Yi Jia din have enough cash the other day and she have to fork out the money about 200 bucks and felt insecure.. WTH.. haiz.. i dunno how he thinks about it but to mi is so f*** up.. Everytime they went out is YiJia payin and i believe the sum add up is more than the sum she pay that day.. why so calculative about it man.. it seem like she is with him bcoz of his money not bcoz of his love or wad.. haiz.. dunno wad to say to him.. all i can say i have already told him.. it's his decision.. GOD bless.. Nitez or rather GOOD MORNING.. haha..
Always by your side SnOwY
1:11 AM
Faithful Friends
Among the great and glorious gifts
Our heavenly Father sends
Is the gift and understanding
That we find in loving friends.
For in this world of trouble
That is filled with strife and care
Everybody needs a friend
In whom they're free to share.
And somehow in this big wide world
We've loving faithful friends,
For God in all his charity
And wisdom always sends
A sense of understanding
And power of perception
And mixes these fine qualities
With kindness and affection.
So when we need some sympathy
Or a friendly hand to touch,
Or an ear that listens tenderly
And words that mean so much,
We seek our true and trusted friend
In the knowledge that we'll find
A heart that's sympathetic
And an understanding mind.
Scripture:
A friend loveth at all times...
Proverbs 17:17
Always by your side SnOwY
9:52 PM
Events that happened this 3 days..
23 Oct..
Shan came and pick mi up on my house downstairs at about 930 then we head off to pick his gf at concourse.. follow up with the KTV session at Chervon where the rest are there le.. Which includes Xiong, Eric n Xiao Xi..
This time round, we had the big room as Eric forgot to make bookin.. hence they only left with the big room.. have to pay more which means.. Shan n gf left early as shan be stayin at his gf place n nit to return the car.. we only extended for another hr till 1am..
24 Oct..
Decided to go Eric place n play over night as his parents went for holidays.. so we reached his place at about 130am as he gave Xiao Xi wrong direction (diao).. we bought Macdonald, tibits and drinks up.. finally, we settled down in his room.. XiaoXi suggested to play Truth or Dare.. I think if u are there you be laughin like crazy... Haha..
Eric is the Mr nice guy.. he wun shoot u the pai seh qn or ask u do those make ur face red stuff so we always like eric to be spinin the thing..
Xiong the opp.. he make u do the stupiest things and make u say the most paiseh things.. so we all hate him to have the spin bt we like him to be the target board.. Lolx..
Xiao Xi and Me.. we are mean.. Haha.. we always make the guys suffer.. Lolx.. bt we take care of each other.. yeah.. tat's the gers power.. blehz..
Here's the funniest part of the game:
1) Xiong make Eric to wear his mum's bra and do sexy dance for 30 sec.. in the end after the dance, he use the bra and hit Xiong many times.. Haha..
2) XiaoXi suspected Xiong wearin thongs.. so eric make him do hand stand so that XiaoXi can have the opportunity to find out.. Hee.. but too bad.. Xiong reaction is too fast.. whahaha..
3) Finally, we know Xiong is not wearing thongs but he have thongs at home.. haha.. coz i make him say the truth..
4) I make Xiong and Eric to kiss mouth to mouth.. thou it is nt difficult, but they are so funny.. Xiong ask Eric to close his eyes so he wun be so paiseh but eric dun wan.. they drag so long but still the process is funny..
5) XiaoXi make Xiong and mE to lick Eric nose.. haha.. i find it digusting.. so i run away.. haha.. only Xiong lick his nose.. haha.. Eric is so scary.. haha.. He is like u stick out ur tougue and he will go and be lick by himself.. whahaha..
5) XiaoXi make me drip green tea using my mouth on Eric's nipple.. tat's so paiseh lor.. omg.. haha.. but it's a dare so have to do it.. haha... den eric keep talking.. and make mi laugh n laugh.. i almost wanna spill him with my mouthfull of green tea..
6) They make me and XiaoXi kiss mouth to mouth.. My first kiss to a ger is gone.. Haha.. luckily they nv say french kiss.. i will faint.. keke.. what goes around comes around.. Lolx..
7) the last two dares are the funniest.. I make XiaoXi give either of the guy a love bite.. so the guys scissor paper stone to see who win will get it.. Keke.. Eric got the love bite in the end.. =X
8) lastly, as i have mention earlier, what goes around comes around.. it Xiaoxi turns to give the dare and it's Eric who got the dare but i was drag dwn the dare.. Sob Sob.. This time, Eric is to do 30 push ups bt with mi on the bottom..omg.. but at least Xiong is good enough to gave mi blanket as he say dun gif Eric the opportunity to take advantage of mi.. haha.. aniway, when Eric finish the 20 push ups Xiong came mi.. Eric must wait for him to say up den he can go up otherwise he have to be on the down side.. is so near me lor.. and i'm covering my face and Xiong pull down and i tink i turn red.. so pai seh lor.. Finally, everything is over.. phew.. keke..
It's about 430 am.. we decided to house hop to Xiao Xi place as she nit to work very next day.. we reached her place at 445am.. she is staying at Lim Chu Kang whr it's near the cemetry.. haha.. So we tip toes into her room as we din want to wake the family up.. haha.. crap abit den they slept.. i can't get to slp dunno y.. so was reading a book till 830 and wake her up to work.. she woke up bt went bek to bed after brushin her teeth..
thereafter, me n Eric went to help her up where Xiong is still slpin.. it's a family business.. is a frog farm.. i almost vomitted my intestin out.. =X they have the slaughtering kitchen where the will kill the frog and turtle.. for selling.. and the office is just side by side.. the smell is so strong tat i keep getting out of the office for fresh air.. me and Xiong supposely wanted to leave at 3pm to go back home as i nit to change and bath coz i'm meetin my fren at 6pm.. bt no transport out so i change the appointment time and wait till XiaoXi to knock off work.. by the time she is ready, tat's 6 already.. Haiz.. and i only reached home at 630pm.. msg my fren to change timin to 730 but only got ready by 730 with here and there knocking.. Heehee.. rush dwn and take a cab dwn..
late again u would say me.. bt it nt i wanted.. hehe.. so we watch decided to watch Scoop and had dinner b4 tat.. It a nice show but i can't seem to concentrate and i tink there's some part tat i have snooze off a sec or two.. hehe.. and when the parts are funny, i can't laugh.. no energy at all.. keke.. so i keep disturbin my fren to keep myself occupied.. Hehe.. Hey.. hope u dun mind i keep disturbin u.. Hehe..
after everything, i had to go dwn to queenstown club to pass XiaoXi the vodka tat was bought by Xiong.. tot i nit to walk back home but luckily, Shan is there and he is heading home too... so he drove mi back.. yeah.. bath and decided to put mask on my face.. and while relaxing, i fell aslp for 20 mins.. hehe.. take dwn the mask and went back to slp.. hehe..
25 Oct..
Woke up at about 8pm.. tat's about 20 hours of slp.. haha.. anyway, it's a very nice weather to slp.. hehe.. so i decided to go back to slp again.. hehe.. nights.. swt dreams.. tat's the end of my day.. lolx..
PS. Thanks for the day guys and gals.. those ppl who have accompany the days.. i truely enjoyed myself and had great laugh.. Thanks peeps! Cheers.. hope to see u all soon..
Always by your side SnOwY
1:36 AM
Just got back home.. listening to this song by David Tao title Wo Men De Gu Shi.. Nice song.. Hee.. and my buddy is back from Taiwan.. Guess what? 3 cars went to pick him up.. Haha.. Good frenz aren't we? Lolx.. but only one car send him back and dat's ME.. coz i reached the earliest.. and his parents are kindda tired.. so the other 2 have to u-turn back.. lolx.. Shan was so angry as we din wait for them to come and we just head back to Xiong place le.. I got scolded for nothing.. Haiz.. After that i was so blur wen driving back to my place.. We met Shan at my house downstairs to go for supper with Eric and XiaoXi.. Finally eaten my Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner all together.. i ordered a Chai Kuai Tiao and carrot cake.. unfortunately, i can't finish it.. Hee.. den we chat for awhile and decided to leave as Shan and Xiao Xi has to wake up early for work.. Otherwise i guess they be going to KTV.. Lolx.. Anyway, we be goin ktv tml.. Finally.. Haha.. the thirst for ktv is so much.. Hee.. Today is consider a happy day.. Should be sleeping soon i guess.. Nights.. Sweetest dreams.. Cya..
Always by your side SnOwY
6:27 AM
Time check: 6:27am.. Still unable to slp.. the tears are in my eyes.. fighting hard to force it back.. do i have the courage to let go a 3 yrs rs? will i be able to step out of the painful shadow? It's the feeling that lasted so long.. his 3rd day at Taiwan.. everytime he called back, he will ask whether have i thought of our rs.. his smses are those filled with feelings or the memories of our past.. i'm feeling very stress n upset.. dunno is i force my tears back too much or i have run out of tears.. din wan to stay at home and think of anything.. just wanna get out..
What kind of gal am i? i really dunno.. i dun tink i'm a good gal.. i guess i'm just the worst of all.. my heart is breakin.. to love or be with someone who u can nv trust again.. i tink tat's the worst insult afterall.. the fear never leave me.. hw much i wan to tell him i love him but i can't be with him anymore.. the words nv came out.. is i too bothered about his feelings den mine? what i can do is i can only see him cry infront of mi and comfort him.. who will comfort me? i tried to forgive him and forget.. i tried my very best.. i tried nt to think.. i tried to earse my memory of those unhappy times.. but i really afraid the next time he hit mi again, i will be in the other world.. it getting worst everytime he hit me.. the fear just grow stronger everytime.. he say he will help mi fight the fear bt he is the biggest fear.. hw can he help mi? he been telling mi tat we been thru so many ups and downs together, this is the last obstacle.. if we can overcome this, everything will b fine.. is it true? the obstacle is there forever.. the memories just flow back to me everytime.. everything is a nightmare.. hw he almost killed mi.. u tink i make it seem very serious? coz u aren't in my shoe when the things happened.. a chopper at ur throat, him on top of u, slapping ur face and shouting at u.. if u tink this isn't serious, there are others too.. this isn't anything fr the drama but my experience.. haha.. i'm tired.. tired of every thinking.. lost.. lost in the mist.. lost in the darkness.. lost in the nightmare.. even if there is someone who light a matches, i guess i will jump onto that someone and beg that someone to bring mi out of it.. haha.. sound like i'm so desperate.. ya.. but i am..
I'm lost.. will u lead me the way out? Please.. here i am beggin u..
If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.
Always by your side SnOwY
7:21 PM
Love is Simple, Life is Complicated..
Innocent kids run through the field
Playing on the same ground
Purity destroyed by the
Destructive power of knowledge
Simplicity becomes complex
Absolute truths are erased
Crawling through the sand
As a hand pulls a glass of water
Just out of my reach
A wounded animal never leaves his yard
Chained to the fence by his own shyness
Unable to cross the street
To the house of fulfillment
Vanity blinds a pair of eyes
To A to picture of perfection
A soul was terrified to open the door and the love in your heart
Caused the purchase of added locks
Sometimes she wears glasses
That give off false images
Viewing a person impossible for her to see without a mirror
God chose me to take her shape
So she could witness
His most beautiful creation
Surviving an experience of malice
Noexisistant on our fantastic planet
A beautiful angel out of place
In a world of vampires
Who sink their fangs into her skin
Feeding off the blood of her compassion
Leaving me locked outside
Standing naked in the cold streets
Forcing me to do penance
For the sins of another
When the white light shines
Filling my room with extraordinary colors
I have to close my eyes
Focusing on the blackness
Preventing a ride on a roller coaster
Built by Jeckle and Hyde
That pulls me next to your heart
and cuts the string
Leaving me suspended in mid air
Forcing me to stay on this bumpy highway
Because your exit leads me to a dead end.
Always by your side SnOwY
8:21 AM
This is his 2nd day at Taiwan.. The time that i can finally have peace of mind.. the days that he is on block leave, we quarrel almost every day.. for every little minor things will end up in a big quarrel.. I tried my best and put in all my effort to the rs but i just can't see it working.. I know that he's very upset this few weeks.. so am i.. I can see and feel the effort that he's putting in to save this rs.. but i feel so pressurize and stress.. the haze with stress combine.. i have been havin hyper ventilation for the past few days.. Thou i noe that clubbing won't destress mi but at least i won't get to think of anythings.. There's nothing left for me.. The fear is always there.. the trust is no longer avai.. Life is tearing apart..
frenz are scolding mi tat going over to aust study is just running away fr the prob.. i'm just keep the thing hanging there.. Hence i decided to postpone the study trip till further notice AGAIN and settle the prob.. I just hope everything will be fine and i will be leading my happy life again..
Always by your side SnOwY
9:50 PM
2 months to my birthday.. I hope it will nv come.. nt because i dun wan to grow old.. just that i dun wan to recall some bad things that had happened.. but it still in mind now.. still so vividly in my mind .. one week before my 21st bday.. haha.. my heart is breaking into million and million of pieces again.. even after someone mends it, it will still break.. it's nv one again.. the wound is so deep and hurting.. can someone stop it.. it piercing thru my heart.. please pull it out.. pull it away.. stop rubbin salt on my wound.. Haha.. WHATEVER!
Always by your side SnOwY
5:22 PM
Have anyone realise that the haze is getting worse? Haha.. I do.. (sound like the pastor asking during the marriage vow.. hehe) Anyway, air index is like my feelings now.. From high to low..
I admit i still love you.. i dun wanna hide the feelings.. but at the same time, i also know that we can't be together anymore.. When you love someone doesn't mean that you have to be together.. Or maybe i dunno wad is love afterall..
Ever heard of every start of a rs means both ppl is walkin together at the same path.. but when you walk down the path in the long run, you may leave the other party behind or your pace maybe too fast without u realising it.. or when both of you is at a cross junction, you may pick a different route.. I was left at the cross junction when you beat me in the 1st place.. you have carried on walkin the path with my shadow w/o realising that you had left me behind.. Now when i slowly turn towards the other direction and my shadow is gettin dimmer, you realise there's smth missing.. You ran back the direction you came from and look for me.. But i'm no longer there.. I'm ahead of you at the other direction.. isn't letting it go easier this way?
we came to an agreement that this 3 mths will be smth like probation for us.. if 3 mths later i still think tat we shld seperate then, he will have to respect my decision. I know is kind of stupid.. But i tink tis is his last resort.. I know the longer i drag, the more deeply i hurt both of us.. but is not that i dun wan to let go but is him who wanna carry on.. I dunno wad kind of attitude to show towards him.. i really dunno.. i dunno how to tok to him or be with him.. He came over on sunday.. he tried to talk things out but he din't manage to settle it so he force kiss on me.. he cried.. he coax.. he lied.. he did everything, but it only makes me more scared then ever.. I really out of nowhere le.. lost direction..
How do you maintain a long lasting relationship?
Always by your side SnOwY
When your are down please remember i m always there for you*
|
