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2:01 AM
It seem like i haven been blogging and i'm not frequently bloggin like i use to be.. have been goin for interviews this 2 weeks.. but i guess it not been really good.. i was shoot with this question: "wad make me so special that i should be selected instead of the rest of the candidate?" i was blurred.. i dunno how to ans at all.. but in the end, i was selected by the company.. hee.. thou i didn't accept the offer somehow.. went for another interview today as secretary but was immediately at the 2nd interview.. while i was in the lift, i was prayin to Lord.. was asking him whether which is the path that i should be takin and which company should i join.. and i didn't wanted to go for this interview actually but smth makes mi went ahead.. so i went to the interview, they were very interesting people.. and something like probing me to join the company so i immediately agreed to the offer.. i guess the Lord have ans to my prayer.. and when i was fillin up the employee form, dere's a section religion.. i juz fill in the space as christian.. lolx.. the funniest part is when i get the job, the happiest person is my dear.. seeing him so happy makes mi very happy.. i feel that i'm the luckiest person.. like i'm gonna have a hubby to pick mi up fr work and stuff.. he's so happy tat he ask his mama to help see HDB hub got new flats near our area.. lolx.. i'm so fortunate.. i love my dear dear more n more each day.. hee.. Muacks..
Always by your side SnOwY
12:04 AM
Been goin to the church kind of frequently.. Went to lighthouse at woodlands during sat for the healing service with dear's mama.. of coz dear dear is there too.. tis is due to mama wasn't feeling quite well recently and her gastric pain.. and i was there coz mama say to let ppl pray for my hyperventilation.. the service practically was good but at some point of time, i find dem like FCBC or city harvest.. kind of scary.. lol.. i tink i still prefer the traditional types which is the weasley at Fort Canning.. thou the preaching wasn't as funny or easier to be understood bt it gave me a very peaceful feelings and it juz makes mi feel better in any ways.. lolx.. bt the songs and the preaching at lighthouse was better.. hee.. why they dun have those that combine of the traditional bt the preaching and songs are the modern ones.. lolx..
Oops.. forgot to say prayer in the morning.. was kindda tired.. lolx.. went church in the evening den drop by at carrefour to buy mangoes, pomelo, etc.. den decided to cook speg at home.. so we bought all the stuffs back to my place and we start cooking.. dear dear's cooking is fantasting.. hee.. it was very nice.. hee.. den we have mango for dessert.. lolx.. we ate alot.. lolx.. happy happy..
Now shall we say prayer:
Dear Lord, thank you for bringing us together.. thank you for the day that's so perfect.. thank you for our parents accepting our relationship well.. thank you lord for me to know you better every single day.. thank you lord for me to have more faith in you every day.. i believe i will soon be ready to accept you Lord.. in the name of almighty Jesus, Amen.. ;)
Always by your side SnOwY
1:19 AM
Back with the same old mi.. but this old me is happy thou the road i'm goin thru is nt smooth, at least there's someone always supporting mi behind and that's u.. (u noe who u r right) hee.. i'm very very happy tat i have u.. feelin i'm the most fortunate person.. i thank God for sendin him to me everyday..
today, this blog is dedicated to my Sugar Honey (So mushy!) .. hee.. this is wad i wan to tell u..:
Dear dear, first of all, i'm sorry that i made you so tired.. i felt that i'm so not understanding.. I know that you have to work yet din let u slp early and even have u to accompany mi after ur work till late.. i feel so useless that i can't do much for u.. i'm sorry my dear.. I have been working hard to look for job so that i dun be like a paster keep stickin on to u.. hee..
secondly, i thank you for being always there for me when i needed you.. thou at times u nit to be home bt ur mum wants you to have enough rest b4 u head to work as well.. she has ur welfare..
thirdly, i thank you for even telling you the things yet u still wanna stay by side to continue lovin me, showering mi with your love, etc.. i really appreciate every little things you have done for mi.. and the little surprises you give mi.. i'm being pamper like a princess..
forth, can u dun be so naughty.. sometimes ask u go back be kuai kuai go back.. later mama not happy wor.. and at times, meeting ur parents and family members are stressful.. bt i will learn to cope with the stress.. and will try to win daddy n mama hearts over.. so tat they will pamper mi n not u! hee.. blehz..
Last bt not least, thank you for loving mi.. thank you for standin beside mi even thou anything happens, you will always be there to shelter the rain or wind.. ( hee.. i dunnO wad i'm saying) thank you.. and all i can return u is my love to you.. will be back for more.. lolx..
Oops.. mushy mushy.. ppl out there dun make fun of mi after reading wor.. hee.. i juz happy.. hee.. bt deep inside my heart still have the grief for my guinea pigs.. i still miss them alot.. haiz..
Always by your side SnOwY
1:35 AM
Finally, he left mi.. charlie juz called mi sayin he passed on.. i was prayin half way.. n i recieved the news.. after 36hrs, he followed ger and left mi too.. may u rest in peace.. i will remember how you caught hold of my attention.. in my memories..
Always by your side SnOwY
12:45 AM
Very very upset at this moment.. Xiao Liat was at his place now.. he's sayin he can't seem to make it thru the day.. i told him to send mi a pic of his current situation.. after looking at it, it's just makes me feel more upset.. i have been looking after him for half a year.. still rem the 1st time i saw him, he was still very small.. only a few weeks old.. bought him back fr the pet shop.. look after him.. fed him n play with him everyday.. he's very cute.. the 1st time i saw him i like him alot le.. that's y i bought him back.. still rem my sis been complaining that i over fed him and he's so fat.. bt now, he's so skinny.. he's not eating anything nor drinking.. i even place his fav carrot and hay yet he isn't touchin it.. practically he's shutting down his system.. simply refuse to eat or drink due to stress or shock.. but i still dun understand wad's the cause..
it was xiao hu li who left mi 1st, now he's goin to leave mi too.. why does it always ended up this way.. nw Charlie have to force feed him med, food n drink.. it's so painful to hear that.. and i still quarrel with him.. he's stress so am i.. the pressure i taken it's nt light as well.. and it's nt that i do not wan to go see him nw bt i noe i can't.. i simply noe i can't.. hw much i wish he din brought him back nw.. at least he's with mi.. yet i do nt wan to see him leave mi like she did.. ain't i too selfish.. i really sucks.. why dun you just take my life away n return them their life.. it's my fault.. i noe i neglected them for the past weeks.. thou i feed them bt i din really shower them with my love n care.. i'm really sorry.. it's all my fault.. please GOD.. i really beg you to show mercy on him.. let him live.. i'm really sorry.. i will repent.. please do not take him away fr mi.. please.. if this is yet another test to test my faith for you, it's too much for mi to take it.. i'm praying with my heart to you.. i hope you will be able to hear it..
Always by your side SnOwY
1:28 AM
Griefing for xiao hu li (guinea pig).. she pass away on 06/01/07, 130pm.. was actually very upset.. bt the tears dun come down on me.. haiz.. i seriously dun dare to raise the other.. i got Charlie to bring xiao liat back coz i scare he will follow her footstep.. He seem unwell too.. afraid he's sick as well.. told Charlie to brin him to see doc tml yet ended up quarrel with him.. sianz.. my day are sucky enough yet he blame me for pushin responsible to him and stuff like tat.. wtf.. if u dunno hw i feel dun crap with mi.. dun rub salt on my wound.. i'm sad enough le..
went church with dear dear n mummy.. went all the way to woodlands.. luckily his mummy driving.. hee.. it was a healing service.. tot of some thing during the service.. almost cried.. yet i hold back the tears.. haiz.. it just that i find myself so sinful.. haiz.. tink GOD also dun wan me.. haiz..
be back again..
Always by your side SnOwY
2:05 PM
There's gonna be SIA interview tml again.. poundering should i go.. still remember the times when i'm not allowed to go, i been wanting to go.. bt nw, i'm allowed to go yet i dun feel like going.. reason is simple.. coz if really got selected, i wun be able to see dear dear so often.. i will miss him like crazy.. bt it has been a dream to me.. it's so hard to balance out.. anyway, i dun tink i can get in also.. bt mama keep wantin mi to try out SQ coz she say only get to live once in a life time.. everything also have to try.. haiz.. dunno la..
Good news is that i have received calls for job interview.. Hopefully can get a job soon.. den at least have money come in.. otherwise always money go out.. hee.. saving is depreciating like crazy.. if continue like that any longer, i tink i'm goin crazy le.. money lend out nv comes back.. haiz.. bad debts.. sianz..
The good news is i'm tryin to pray every day when i wake up and before i slp.. hee.. bt dunno whether i'm doin it correctly not.. but i'm learning and putting in effort at least.. hee..
*Missing U lots..
Always by your side SnOwY
10:03 PM
haiz.. it was suppose to be a happy day.. bt nw dear dear is very upset.. it hurts me so much to know he's upset.. haiz.. i also feel like cryin le.. bt if i also feel upset, then who cheer dear dear up? so i must be happy den can cheer him up.. hee..
today acc his mama to see doc at Mount E.. den after that she say wan go eat wanton soup.. coz she wants mi to learn how to eat meat.. so tried to swallow 1 1/2 dwn.. almost vomitted.. but manage to stop it during the whole process.. bt there after, can't take it anymore after we went on seperate ways.. went puking and dear dear was kindda worried.. actually after vomitting, i still have the urge to vomit bt tryin nt to.. can't eat anything at tis moment coz i'm afraid that i will just throw it all out.. nt really feeling good.. hee.. bt with dear dear around, i'm fine.. hee.. for once i wan to make clear wor.. i'm dun find it disgusting to eat meat or "Chang ren" to eat it.. bt i juz can't take it.. even when i tried to eat chicken in the 1st place, it's take years to learn hw to eat it.. and also nt all i will eat as well.. i'm still tryin to learn hw to eat chicken currently.. haha.. haiz.. better dun tok bout it le.. gonna throw out soon.. lolx..
next.. his daddy gave me a bible on sat during the shifting of his house bt it's still with dear dear coz we both forgotten to take or pass to each other.. and everytime wen we rem, we are at our homes.. daddy saw it at his room and wasn't quite happy bout it and was sayin that he wasn't impress with it.. i'm nt tryin to impress anyone that i wanna learn more bout christian.. neither do i tink it's smth to impress ppl with it and i dun do it for others.. i do it for myself.. coz i find that God is callin for mi.. that's the reason i initated attendin church service.. bt then, it still quite disheartening to hear wad his daddy told him.. i really dunno wad i shld do.. it seem like the failure keeps comin back.. the disappointment that you received.. bt dear dear will always be there to support me.. i'm just too glad with it.. it just one another test the God is giving me and him probably.. it just the faith we must have in Him to get thru all these tests.. there will be another big test over my side.. that's if mama nOe tat i'm gonna be christian, she sure will turn the world over.. i dunnO hw to break this news to her.. haiz.. there's so much to think..
Having a job interview tomorrow.. yet i have no mood to prepare it.. haiz.. i'm still feelin sick.. tink i shld turn in early.. Hope dear dear will feel better and cheer up.. his smile will brightens up my day.. hee.. waiting for dear dear's call.. hee..
Always by your side SnOwY
10:41 PM
with my dearest on the line with mi.. missing him alot.. went to his aunt's place for family gathering ytd.. was very stress in the 1st place.. cause i'm like in an interview room.. one person stand up the other seat down.. the questions are repeated over n over again.. and him laughin himself away whr i am so stress up.. bt in the end they interrogate him instead of mi coz i told them i wan to further my studies.. hee.. but overall they are funny.. especially when they were playing with baby joel.. they are like the biggest kids.. lolx.. and i did enjoyed myself.. the other thing that i am happy is his mama allowed mi to go to the gathering.. but she wasn't feelin well.. Hope she will feel better soon.. have to work harder to make her like mi.. hee.. actually wanted to ask dear dear whether mama want to eat anything den i can buy for her bt was kind of scare.. hee.. so din ask him.. blehz..
today was kindda tired.. talk to dear dear until i fell aslp.. keke.. too long nv "niua" at home le.. keke.. the feelin of stayin at home seem very new.. enjoyed staying at home once awhile.. but of coz have dear dear by my side is always the best.. kept teasin dear dear earlier on.. make him wanna kill mi le.. keep "sa jiao" to him.. hee.. purposely de.. but it's very fun.. hee.. i really miss him alot.. wan to hug him and kiss him.. hee.. he make mi feel so "xin fu".. keke.. muacks.. hugs and kisses for dear dear..
*Praying dear dear's mummy will recover soon.. and will be always be healthy and good..
Always by your side SnOwY
2:44 AM
It's year 2007.. it's been so fast that year 2006 has left us.. many things have happened the whole of last year.. be it happy or unhappy.. The most happier things is that i have my dear dear with me.. he really has brighten up my the end of my year and i believe he will brighten up the rest of my life too.. i hope this relationship will last and he be my last and only.. i took my whole courage to tell him the darkest and hiden secret of mine.. i dunno whether is right or wrong but i dun wanna hide anything fr him.. yet after telling him, i feel so "naked".. dun understand y.. bt i hope it wun affect us.. but if it does, i tink it's the Lord decision too.. coz i did ask him whether shld i tell him tat.. thou i din hear the voice of Him, bt i still make the decision..
i tink i used up all my courage, i dun dare to look at him in his eyes.. i feel so worthless.. feel so sucky.. haiz.. nw i also dunno hw to make his mummy like mi more or accept mi.. i really lost track..
new year new resolution.. i want to get a job soon.. i wan to work hard.. i wan to save money.. i wan to love him more.. I wan to love and accept the Lord.. i wan to his mummy to love mi.. i wan his parents blessing.. i wan alot more other things after i go think.. nw is time to recouperate.. haha.. be back again..
Always by your side SnOwY
When your are down please remember i m always there for you*
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