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10:57 PM
Doom's Day! Tomorrow supposedly to do an application demo.. But no application demo what sia.. Called my colleague, his hp is switched off.. called my boss, no answer.. called china side, they can't help me at all.. waste my money call there.. Haiz.. now must think of some good excuse to postpone the demo.. say.. computer crush? computer got virus? aiyah.. i dunno how la.. Arrrr... save me.. xiang ai nan heng ni nan, wo de xin sui liao wu heng.. wang zhe ni xin jiu bu hui deng..
Always by your side SnOwY
11:55 PM
The best of friends, Can change a frown, Into a smile, when you feel down.
The best of friends,
Will understand, Your little trials, And lend a hand.
The best of friends,
Will always share, Your secret dreams, Because they care.
The best of friends,
Worth more than gold, Give all the love, A heart can hold.
Always by your side SnOwY
10:02 PM
today.. bored and busy.. Hehe.. thinking of taking up advance French course.. But dunno which school is good.. Cambridge? any idea? So boring.. Thursday got demo.. OMG.. Haiz.. hope the presentation will go well.. i still have have fully install the application how to demo sia.. Ha Ha.. Nothin to write sia.. Bore.. Let me go think of something and come back again.. Ha Ha..
Always by your side SnOwY
6:12 AM
Haiz.. Just came back home not long.. Today just a sucky day.. rather go clubbing den have all this happen.. at first was quite happy.. we had dinner at Suki Sushi.. den we decided to go KTV pub.. think think den went chinatown.. search for an hour plus.. den we decided to go find shan.. they order a bottle of Chivas.. we play game and drink.. the songs like u dedicate will come only an hour later.. wtf.. wait so long.. den this ger from the pub keep make us drink.. luckily me keep winning dun need to drink.. xiong lose the most so drank the most.. Shan already drink alot le.. end up both of them drunk.. only me and Eric the most sober.. Xiong keep hugging me and say he regretted the past.. keep recalling what happen in the past.. Haiz.. Really dunno how to console him.. Maybe he is just too lonely.. Anyway.. so me and Shan sent him home.. He kept insist to stay at house downstairs.. we kept him accompany as we are kindda worried about him.. Finally he went home.. Yeah~
Shan sent me home.. after i bath, i received a sms from him.. saying once a failure forever a failure.. I dun think that's true.. No one born a loser.. even u in a relationship, it doesn't mean that u are a winner.. Future are unpredictable.. Only GOD noes wad lies in the future..
I have a feeling.. which i should have pen it down days ago.. the feeling is kindda strong.. but i really hope i'm wrong.. i find that one of my close friend fell in love with me.. I really hope this is wrong.. I hate it when the feeling is right.. Haiz.. i dun want to lose a friend.. I really yreasure this friendship lots.. Can someone lead me? Tell me what can i do.. please..
I beg u my LORD, please give me some direction.. though i'm not a christian but i hope you will help me..
Always by your side SnOwY
7:23 PM
Another 2 more weeks Charlie will P.O.P le.. He has decided to sign on due to his family.. He decided to sign on for Navy as dunno wad technical Officer.. Once he sign on, the 1st 6 years he will have to be on board.. if he is in the small ship, out to sea is like 1 or 2 days.. big ship, 1 or 2 weeks.. big big ship, months? Haiz.. He say it because I'm going oversea study so it doesnt matters whether he is in town not.. But the point is.. I will only go Australia for a year.. So the next 5 years how??? He is so selfish! I have to be alone in town when he is out for duties? I wanna be Stewardess he say no.. he say he wun be able to see me so often.. So.. to say dat he join NAVY, i am going to join SQ.. tat's it.. I DUN CARE!! Haiz..
Let say something happier.. yesterday met Kit and Shan.. supposedly to have dinner at 6 plus den movie at 7.. but Kit was late.. by the time, the tics are selling fast.. Hence, we went to eat dinner first.. we ate at Fish market.. the food sucks.. the fish is like so stinky.. I cant even cut the fish.. tried my best to eat but give up later.. den we taught of The Cathay.. we went over to see whether we can catch "Over the Hedge" at about 8 plus or 9? but the show was 9.50pm.. we went to eat ice-cream at Ben & Jerry.. Quite nice.. Hehe.. chat and joke about.. wait wait wait.. Finally, 950.. can enter the cinema le.. haha.. we watch the movie.. Very funny.. can watch.. it really hilarious.. ended at about 1130.. we shared cab home.. reached home change my bed sheets, look at my precious coz she has an operation earlier on so was still blury.. try to pack some stuff and bath.. waitin for Alvin to message for collection of the ice box.. finally message.. ask whether i aslp already.. i replied.. told him will wait for him to come.. while wating for him to come, watch CSI.. Half way thru, he called and say he reached le.. went down and pass him the ice box.. Fairus was there as well.. continue with my CSI.. (watching in progress).. eyes closing at about 3 am.. went to bed..
..End of blogging..
Life is a long journey.. full of ups and downs.. it always uneven.. Since it uneven, why not ALWAYS stay HAPPY...
Always by your side SnOwY
12:57 AM
Today is a real busy day.. Woke up and drove my sis car back for my mum to send it for repair.. follow up with my report to my boss.. spend almost 4 hours to do this stupid and dunno what i am writing report.. haha.. BUT here come the fun and enjoyable part.. Meet Shan, Ling, Brenda and Kit.. We ate sake sushi and went KTV.. laugh until full.. whahaha.. It so fun.. So long nv go out with all of them.. had real fun.. at the same time i feel quite bad as well.. the four of us took cab home and leave Brenda alone to go b herself.. Bad huh? haha.. Dats all for the day.. Tired (watching CSI right now).. Hee.. sleeping soon.. Good Nights ladies and gentlemen.. Sweet dreams..
Always by your side SnOwY
10:05 PM
Boring day! Woke up and send my sis car for repair.. She fell asleep while she is driving.. supposedly to change D gear but change to R gear.. hit the tree.. badly damage.. Have to drove to bukit timah.. so pai seh.. haha.. Everybody looking at you.. haha.. Anyway, i try not to be bother.. keke.. Reach home and start rotting again.. dats all for the day.. probably fine some nice poem and post.. Any idea?
Always by your side SnOwY
6:16 AM
What is this feeling I have? I seem to love you But other times I seem to loathe you..
I can't be without you
Or maybe just without anyone I think about you all the time But why do I have this feeling?
I long for your voice
And I would die to hear your laugh But is this love Or merely lust?
Interesting isnt it? Any answer(s)?
Always by your side SnOwY
1:54 AM
Knowing that I love u, But can never have you Burns my heart like an open fire.
As I lay on the grass on a summers night, Gazing at the stars so very bright All my hopes and dreams break.You're the only one I see, In this future so uncertain But in the end, let fate take us to what's desired
May this mend my broken heart? Or just leave me in the dark? Confused, lost and angry,
What do u really mean to me? If u hurt me so bad Why don't I leave?
This slow attraction, which grew in to love Now is broken Now my mind and heart are hazy
And I don't know what to do, All I know is that I'm broken hearted and confused
Always by your side SnOwY
7:21 PM
The week was fine.. But guess overall, i am until friday came..
Its another for clubbing.. supposedly to celebrate birthday for Jake.. all of us waited for him at Zouk almost 2 hours.. there he came.. angry hence, left for Dbl O.. Shan and all reached.. Saw Jiafu.. sianz.. Ha Ha.. ask shan not to be with them.. they went O Bar and we? upstairs Dbl O.. had fun drinking.. introducing friends to friends.. Make our way to dance floor back to bar.. up and down many many times.. Alvins friend, Fairus.. drank and dance with him.. This guy, he is great.. I mean he can know how I feel even I have seem him so many times but not really talkin to him.. What he say makes me stun.. thats why i didnt mind drinking with him.. 3am.. Dbl O closing.. He ask me to join them at Devils.. why not huh! hee.. took the same car as alvin.. Almost there but really not wanting to go anymore at that point.. Breaking down soon.. all emotion is flowing out.. I got him to go ahead but i guess i made him very angry as well.. he left and i sat alone there.. Crying and questioning.. there came his friend.. somebody i dont know.. But funny enough.. I told him almost everything about how i feel.. Cried infront of him.. I can say i'm a very strong person who i can control every emotion of mine.. He told me to break up with CHarlie after hearing everything.. He say he doesnt worth me being with him.. I am puzzle.. what should i do.. reached house downstairs around 6am.. went to the playground instead.. message him for him to accompany me.. but no reply.. sat until 7am.. decided to go home then.. Cried until my eyes are swollen.. bath and sleep.. didnt want to think anymore.. he message me at 7 plus.. but was soundly asleep.. suddenly woke up at 11 plus.. dont know why.. saw the message and return call.. called him the 3rd time he answer.. got scolding from him.. he was asleep.. so i hang up.. he then message me.. blah blah.. there and then i decided to delete his no... didnt even pick Charlie up from pasir ris.. didnt want to see him.. my mind is in complete blank.. i dont know what should i do what i should say.. i just want peace.. til now.. my mind and heart is very confuse.. maybe i really want to be single for now.. for awhile.. for sometime to clam myself down.. to think what i want.. should I?
Always by your side SnOwY
12:13 PM
Let recount how many days i havent pen anything in my blog.. from 11 May, Thursday morning till 15 May, Monday noon.. That's 4 days.. This 4 days many things had happened.. Sad, Happy and moody!!
Let's recall...
11 May, Thursday.. woke up at 3 plus in the afternoon.. Charlie be taking cab on his own.. will be meeting him at his place.. got up and prepared myself.. The day was fine.. Just that i'm not happy and he's not aware.. he did his usual routine, play with sis, surf the web then dota with his fren online.. Me? Did nothing.. Bored and upset.. wondering why he is not aware of my mood.. slept early.. End Of Boring Day!
12 May, Friday.. His NS friends birthday again.. meaning need to join them again.. 5 days see them not enough now even book out also must meet them.. which girlfriend will not be unhappy.. I told him that i do not wish to go.. and Wit is back in SG today.. May need to meet him for a cup of coffee or drinks.. Told him to go ahead himself to the party and i will meet up with my bro.. He keep insist to go party with him unless Wit call then we will head to meet him up.. Haiz.. My point is I DUN WANT TO GO THE PARTY.. Being left alone in the previous party already irritates me.. and not even realised i'm very upset before all this makes my BLOOD BOILED!! I told him straight up that am not happy.. but he didnt ask why.. just played with his sis..
we quarrel.. should i say that luckily his mom called to ask him to do things? Hee.. I managed to smuggle myself out of his place when he is helping his mom with things.. In order not to be caught by him, am sneaking in the board daylight.. Walk a very far distance in quick pace.. finally hop on a cab and head home..
He kept calling me but i refuse to answer.. He called my house and i told my mom that am not in.. Mom knew that we both quarrel.. trying to fish thing from me Why! Why! Why! mouth was tight enough that nothing came out.. everyone went out except me.. whole day never eat.. HUNGRY!! Shan is out with his colleagues drinking at SAFRA Town Club (whr the hell is that place).. Jer is still rotting at home.. Not know where to go yet.. Eric MIAing.. HP switch off.. Called shan and check when his gathering finishes whether want to go clubbing not.. ask Jer as well.. Finally received a CALL from Jer saying he and Eric is at dlb O.. ask me to go down together with shan.. Called shan and to meet him outside.. Food arrived in time.. Eat but never finish.. Hee.. Went out then.. Shan is earlier than me.. waited for me outside..
went in.. Alvin there's too.. haha.. Just so coincident that where we stand is where he seat.. SAD for him.. chair bound that night as his girl friend lost her bad and needa console her.. Hee.. Me enjoyed lots.. Worries and unhappiness aside.. never drunk much coz am too full.. went dance floor but not enough drinks so no mood to dance.. All being pulled to side bar to order more drinks coz of ME!! played 5-10.. lose drink lose drink.. Ha Ha.. went dancing again.. woohoo.. 3 am.. dlb O closing time.. wanna club somemore so went to devils.. left malays.. we drank and dance but shan and Jer are gone case le.. both drunk.. Ha Ha.. only me and Eric the sober ones laughing and enjoying.. Hee.. Shan needa go home 1st.. Hence, i tot of sending him home then join ALvin at MOMO.. but instead the cab driver abit crazy.. should go havelock rd ended sending us to MOMO.. puzzle.. Hee.. Shan send me to Alvin before leaving..
MOMO not that bad.. The music is nice.. Alvin accompanied me as i dont know his friends.. Dance dance then gastric.. SAD arrrr.. lean on the bar.. not wanting to go back yet.. so club until MOMO close at 6 am.. his friends all left.. Me and him hungry so we decided to eat breakfast.. think think think.. no where to eat.. went CCK to eat dim sum.. then... somethings better not writen down.. For me to know and for you to find out.. Ha Ha.. lalalalala..
13 May, Saturday.. reached back home at 9 plus am.. bath and sleep.. woke up at 6 plus pm.. read books.. until 9 plus.. went to Lau Pa Sar to eat.. Wao! so long never go there eat le.. missed the food there.. Hee.. Went to catch a movie at 1205, MI3.. Please believe me, it a sucky show.. regreted watching that show.. waste money.. Ha Ha.. went home after that.. No news from wit yet..
14 May, Sunday.. woke up, eat lunch and preparing to go Pasir Ris.. sending him to camp.. Haiz.. Long journey back again.. Alone! haiz.. Met shan at 730 to eat dinner.. walk from PS to Cine.. dunno what to eat.. finally settle down at Cine food court.. Halfway eating got the urge to go KTV.. Ha Ha.. luckily, shan also.. So decided to go La La.. went to party world.. told charlie.. He's unhappy about it.. WHY! he say if is girlfriends it ok.. but HE is MY BUDDY!!! why not.. can't i even have my own social life? Isnt he too much.. I'm so pissed.. Ever since he knew me, I'm like this.. Friends who surrounded me mostly are guys.. That's not my fault.. I tried to be friend with gals but it they leave me.. What do you expect more from me.. Quarrel AGAIN.. really dont wished to talk to him anymore.. for how long, i dont know.. our communication broke down.. continue my singing session.. Ha Ha.. wit finally called! FINALLY remembered this SISTER!! LOLX.. he going back to Thailand.. ask me to let him know when i'm going there again.. so i told him end of june and he be there.. YEAH!! haha.. time to catch up again.. Ha Ha.. Went home.. online awhile then sleep..
15 May, Monday.. when i finally dose off, sms coming in.. reply read reply read.. can't get back to sleep.. until 6 plus..TIRED.. woke up at 9 plus.. nothing to do.. picked up my books to read again.. no assignments from work.. decided to furnish my blog with updates.. Hee.. Ok la.. for now be it.. My "xiao bai nian" is asking me to play woth her le.. continue later perhaps... Hee...
Always by your side SnOwY
11:54 AM
Oops! Never wrote for 2 days! Ha Ha.. Let start the bloggy..
Erm.. 9 May 2006, Tuesday
Am busy the whole day.. Woke up at 8am.. Drove my sis car for repair and have to rush to Mohammed Sultan Rd by 1030 to view office space.. spent about an hour to view 5 offices.. Went home to return the car as my mum needs to use it (Sis drove her's to work).. stay back home less than an hour and out to view with another agent.. Oh My GoD.. This agent i will slaughter him.. after viewing the offices, he drove me around and telling me this is his client, that is his client and force me to eat high tea with him w/o asking me in the 1st place.. Haiz..
Finally homE swEet HoMe!!!
Went out for dinner with shan.. whole day haben eat anything.. HUNGRY!! Ha Ha.. after that still don't want to go home.. we walk around then reached KBOX outside.. decided to go in for some KTV session.. Hee.. Sing Sang Song until 10 plus.. By the time reached home already dead tired.. bath and sleep.. Long Day huh? Ha Ha..
10 May 2006, Wednesday
after settle some work stuff, went out with Elaina in the afternoon.. We walk from Orchard to P.S. talk about lotsa things.. From poly year1 to current.. we laugh out loud and wonders too.. Have great fun.. knew her guy fren whom i call Mr. Nice Guy.. Ha Ha.. his story is kind of long.. so no bother about writing here.. (anyways, tis blog suppose to be me related) Ha Ha.. we went to choose birthday present for my sis.. we choose a Lee Hwa Necklace.. very nice and simple.. I like IT!! Nah.. met my mum at 8 plus P.S. to buy it and head for DINNER! reached home about 10 plus le.. Talk to Charlie for half an hour or so.. we QUARREL.. never see him for a week plus le.. but quarrel with him.. very upset.. I really dun understand why in a relationship there must be so many assurrance.. Isn't trust and understanding is enough? Why must I keep think of ways to assure him.. Seriously, i think alot.. but I dun get it.. I have given up the dream of being an air steward, now is he askin me to give up my dream of studying oversea.. WHY is he so selfish!!! The more i talk to him, the more am pissed! Alvin sms me asking whether interested to join him n fren to play pool not, so I agreed as i wanted to get out of the stuffy house.. Really need to think.. Dun know why, he always able to know am upset even i smile and laugh.. but I didnt say a thing.. went for supper and head straight home.. The whole day, the most happies news is WIT coming to SINGAPORE this friday. Hope he have some time to meet up with us for a drink or two..
Since Friday that i have met up with him again, alot of memories flow back to me.. whether good or bad.. From sec 1 to now.. Even wonder to ask whether when he is with me that time, did he still go after Daphne.. Ha Ha.. But didnt have the courage to do so.. Ke Ke.. But whenever I heard the name DAPHNE, I feel so uneasy.. whether is referring to the same person or not.. Haiz..
Always by your side SnOwY
6:19 PM
The Emptiness and Loneliness...
I feeling lost.. The emptiness and loneliness are creeping in my life.. Suddenly I understand why I am feeling low.. I know he loves me, dote on me and willing to give me things that I wanted.. But I couldn’t feel the love from him anymore.. Is there something wrong? I can’t feel the love as before.. The time and the happiness we had when we first started going out.. Everything is different.. How I wished friends to be by my side supporting and encouraging me..
Probably that is why they say when your boyfriend go NS their girlfriend will not stay.. It a very BIG test for the both of us.. I will try my best to overcome it..
Always by your side SnOwY
8:35 PM
5 May 2006, Friday
Went out with Elaina in the afternoon for lunch and buy present for her mother.. Catching up with each other.. Lots of things have happen been both of us.. Louis betrays her again.. Really don’t understand why whenever there is someone so nice and good for you and they will never cherish.. Only after they lose it then they will try their best at whatever cost to recover it.. Isn’t it too late?
We went on our way at about 6 plus.. Am waiting for the night to come as be going to club.. Finally, for almost a year never step foot in a club.. LOLX.. Manage to persuade Elaina to tag along.. Knew her for almost 4 years but 1st time go clubbing with her.. Yeah?
Met Ziyi and Elaina at 915 P.S. Ziyi was the 1st to reach and waiting the two girls.. Hee.. Was suppose to meet Ziyi’s friend (Jeremie) but last minute say meet us over at Dlb O.. So we went ahead.. But have no idea what bus from Orchard goes to M.S. wanted to take cab but the timing is not right.. They decided to walk over there but.. was wearing heel.. walk until leg pain pain wor.. Ha Ha..
Finally reach Dlb O but no table.. So went to Pool Bar.. Waiting for Ziyi’s friend and Qing Shan they all to arrive.. Elaina and I team up to “suan” Ziyi.. He is going crazy because of us.. Luckily his friend came but end up the 3 of us team up against him.. Ha Ha..
Jer and Eric came.. We waited for Shan to arrive.. Thinking whether we should open bottles.. but Ziyi they all don’t want to open.. So no open lor.. We proceed towards Dlb O leaving Elaina they all at pool Bar as they waiting for other people..
We played Five-Ten and drink shots.. Kept “SaBo” each other to drink.. Even never lose also force to drink.. Ha Ha.. Fun yeah?
Saw Alvin, Still the same.. no change.. All say he very flirt.. Ha Ha.. Glad to still have him as friend.. We drank and dance.. Dance the whole night and vomited.. Ha Ha.. But seriously, I really enjoyed myself loads.. After so many things had happened.. This is the only day I ever felt so relax.. Dun think just enjoyed..
Can’t take it anymore inside.. Making me feel more like vomiting.. Shan brought me out.. But that idiot Alvin kept “suan” me.. All of us sat outside and talk.. Talk talk then we started to sing songs.. They all started to vomit one by one.. So we take turns to look after each other..
Went home at about 5 plus in the morning.. Bath and sleep..
Shout out: “I LOVE THIS DAY! I REALLY ENJOY MYSELF! THANK YOU!”
6 May 2006, Saturday
Woke up by the thunder.. Realized it already 8 plus in the morning.. Couldn’t go back to sleep until the thunder stop..
Woke up at 2 plus.. do nothing until finally found something to do.. Watch Naruto Anime.. Sianz.. Watch DVD until 830 in the morning.. Finally feel the tireness crawling under my skin.. went to sleep..
7 May 2006, Sunday
Woke up and do nothing.. Hence decided to creat blog.. and write all these nonsence in.. Haiz.. Now to thinking what else to do..
Hope I will see the rainbow soon.. Now the sadness creep in.. tears in my eyes but was forced back.. why??
Always by your side SnOwY
When your are down please remember i m always there for you*
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